Love Letter II

I feel like this stupid blog has already gotten too depressing, which was completely NOT the point of writing. Sooooo...I've decided to post a series of love letters that I've written to various people. Love comes in many forms. Embrace it.

These have been the longest [insert time period] of my current existence. I don't know why, but I want so badly to tell you so many things. I want to talk to you, from one person to another. I want to tell you that you are such an amazing person and that you did more for me than I could ever say. I don't know how to tell you any of these things, but I feel you should know them. I love you. I love everything about you. Don't change, not one bit. It'll break my heart if you do. I want to tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me and how you make me feel. I don't want to waste what you gave me. I feel like I owe you so much, but the only thing I can give is my thanks. You're beautiful. I don't ever want to be without you, though I know I have to. I need to move on and get myself figured out. You should know that you've helped me with that. You did everything just right, and you taught me a lot. Being with you was a beautiful experience. Any moment is enough of a moment with you. I don't know why I feel so much for you. I've never before in my life felt so much for one person. I have mad, crazy love for you. Thank you for showing me what I'm worth. I've waited my time and now I'm going to say these things to you, if only you'll let me. I promise it won't hurt. Any tears that fall will be tears of love, not sadness or sorrow or regret, though sometimes they feel that way. This time feels like forever, but I'm glad I made it through. I'm glad I got to come back to you. I haven't yet finished figuring things out, but I'm ready for anything that may happen. I don't know what I want; but for the first time, I know what I don't want. Unfortunately, a lot of those things are common. You're so unique, kid. How did you get to be that way? I wish I could have seen it sooner. I think I did. I think that's why I decided to try you out. Does any of this make sense? Probably not. It doesn't even make sense to me, and I'm the one writing it. These things are coming from my heart. I've strayed from the initial purpose of the letter, but I don't care. I'm going where my heart and my mind take me. I don't know where that will be, but I'm eager to find out. I wish you could be here with me when I finally do figure things out, but I know that can't happen. I'm not ready for you. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for you. I don't think you were ever ready for me. You tried to be valiant, and you tried to be brave, but it wasn't enough. I care so much about you. You're an angel. You're a beautiful angel, and I love you very much, despite all our differences. I'm a difficult person to deal with, and I appreciate that you stuck it out for as long as you did. I don't know why it hurts to say these things right now. Possibly, it's because I care so much for you. How do you make me care so much? I'll never understand it. I wish I didn't have to wait so long to tell you these things. I wish I could say all this right now. In time, I'll know it's right. At this moment, it feels right, but it may not be. I have to wait to see if this passes. If it doesn't, if these words remain in my heart, I'll know it's right. I'll know that I need to tell you. I'm just so afraid that you won't want to hear this, or that you won't give me a chance. Why is this so hard? Why do I have to wait? Waiting is the hardest thing for me. I'm not patient; and when I want something as badly as I want this, I can't wait. I want to do this right now. I'm tempted to call you, but I know I shouldn't. What would you think of me? I don't care what you think. Call me selfish, but all I care about is how I feel. Things are crazy, and they're not calming down. I was ready to tell you everything. Do you understand that? Do you know what that means? I wanted to let you in. I was going to do it. Why do you think I called you over that night? That very night that you decided to do what you did.