I'm generally a hopeful person, and I like to believe there's good in everyone; but I can't seem to find any more reason for these things. My whole life, I've been called naive, and I understand why. I live in my own world. I believe in happy endings--not for everyone, but they do exist. I've seen too many movies and read too many books. However, I'm fully aware that life doesn't turn out all peaches and candy, though creative minds would argue otherwise.
I understand why people aren't friendly to me. I know why I don't feel comfortable calling many people friend: only a few choose to live up to the title. Most would say I'm mentally ill, unstable, pessimistic, and needy (along with other things). Why be friends with someone like that? Why be kind?
What I don't understand is how people can be so cruel to each other and treat others so badly. All I ever hear from anyone are complaints about how badly they've been treated by someone they thought was a friend. I don't understand it. This is hard for me to write about because I'm in a terribly passionate state right now. In all honesty, I'd love to cuss a particular someone out and say ugly things. I'm bitter about many things, but not about anything this person has done; so don't you dare say that I'm speaking from bitterness/hate/anger. If anything, it's hurt that lies within me; but really, he's just an idiot. That's the long and short of it.
Honestly, though, what ever happened to being a friend? What happened to keeping promises, standing by each other's side, and doing what you can for someone you care about? Why have we all turned our backs on each other? Has it always been this way?
Many times over, I've gotten an oversimplified answer to these questions: that's how people are. That's life. The only person you have is you. That's a bullshit way to think. I certainly don't want to associate with someone who sees everything that way. He has pretty much just guaranteed that he's not dependable, reliable, trustworthy. And he wasn't. And he isn't. And he probably never will be.
I've experienced things--terrible things--that I pray to God nobody will ever have to experience, and still I believe in the goodness in humanity. I believe in helping people, in being kind, in sharing the burden of life. These things aren't difficult to do. There's no excuse for crappy human behavior. If I can do it, you can do it. If a woman can look a rapist in the eye and forgive him, if a child can look her abuser in the eye and forgive her...what's stopping us from treating each other with respect, compassion, friendship?
Don't abandon those around you. Yes, you've been abandoned. Yes, you've been abused. Yes, you've been hurt. But that doesn't make your actions right. Man up. Stop being a fuck, and get your head on straight. Or screw up your life. Whatever. It's your life. Don't expect anything from me, for I expect nothing from you. I only hope you'll see your errors, correct them, and learn from them.
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