Shoulder Shrug

I haven't been writing much. I feel like I should write more and about more things. It seems to me that the same thoughts run through my mind all the time. Unfortunately, I use the material I'm given by those around me, and the same theme recurs in conversation with anyone: why did you do it?

Ugh.

So I went to see my neurologist on Tuesday. He asked why I'm not on this anti-d business. He also seemed very surprised that I'm alive. And that I'm not on anti-depressants. Oh, did I already mention that? Of course, too, I got The Question: Why did you do it?

I always answer this question the same way: shoulder shrug. Sometimes I also add, "I don't know."

Truth? I know. There are no ambiguities in my reasoning. It wasn't a whim and it wasn't for attention or to hurt myself. So get it straight, chief.

Whew. Now that I've cleared that up, let's get back to this crazy little thing I like to call my blog.

My step-mom has been in town for the past few days. That's been interesting. We don't normally talk that much. I don't really talk much; I'm more of a thinker/listener. I think the silence makes her uncomfortable. This is secretly entertaining. I'm not sure why. It's always amusing to see people struggle to force conversation because they can't handle silence. A lot of people do this with me because I practically live in silence. If I talk your ear off, it means I'm looking for your approval. Usually this endless chatter of mine is accompanied by pointless stories and nonsensical ramblings. Keep your eyes out.

Oh yeah, and this stuff I'm on has me hallucinating. It's awesome. My dreams are amazing these days. I can't even begin to explain how blazed I was last night. I hope it lasts. Also, I'm in a perpetual state of hunger and grog (as in grogginess, as in I'm tired). This could be interesting.

Other news...

Old Faithful has left the building. The cheap hooker only got me $200. Sad day. And school is only a few short days away. And I'm re-evaluating my life. I'm about to blog about that. Stay put.