Reflection Day

That's today. It's also New Year's Day. Let's reflect.

This has easily been the hardest year of my life. I don't know if I've made it hard for myself, or if it was just that way. All I know is that there are a few good things I can say about it, and I plan to say them.

January--Spent this day last year at my buddy's house getting (unintentionally) drunk. Got out of the business school and into the liberal arts college. Joined Access, which was awkward because everyone already knew each other and I knew no one. That was also the month of my first Sunday Morning Breakfast on my own.

February--Valentine's Day. Enough said. But really, I don't remember this month being too bad. I believe I spent most of it apartment hunting. We did another breakfast, too. And this was the first month of the intramural soccer team I supported. I also did a lot of stuff with the exchange students. I learned how to line dance and stuff. Weird but fun. Good month.

March--I went to Florida for Spring Break. It was great because I got to meet one certain superamazing person. But it sucked because I met dude I'd been talking to for a year. He turned out to be the biggest douche in the world, and I haven't spoken to him since. Oh yeah, and I got violated on several occasions during that week. But my bro sent me my 360 (I miss you, dear Xbox) for my early birthday. That really rocked. That was awesome. Made my day. Unfortunately, I never had anyone to play with, so I never used it unless I wanted to watch a movie.

April--Relay For Life. I did some fun stuff with Access, got a little more involved. That was really awesome, though it was frrreeezing outside. I'm pretty sure this is also when mentor training began. I went to Dining Out (JROTC stuff) with the batallion commander, too. Got to sit at the big table and everything.

May--Nothing happened. Literally. Almost nothing. I moved into my new apartment. I was so excited to get out of that dorm and away from that awful roommate. Finals this month, too. And I started summer school and worked for Access.

June--Why, God, why? It really wasn't that bad, actually. I hated my summer classes. Only had two of them. Never went to the first, and only went to the second because the prof emailed to check up on me. I had no interest in either of them. Well, the second wasn't so bad except that I had to write, and I hate writing. That's where I met The Bitch and Maybe Cute Guy. And Crackhead Bob. And Dude To My Left. And Final Fantasy. And Perky Girl. I gave them all nicknames on the first day of class. This was also when I went on the first date of my life. We saw Wanted. Fun times. And I adopted my dog. She's a sweetheart.

July--This entire month can be summed up in three words: class, Target, boy. That's really all I did. Went to class, worked at Target (and quit), and hung out with my boyfriend. Correction: got drunk with my boyfriend. Actually, we did other stuff, too. But all he wanted to do was drink and get high and stuff. And all I wanted to do was sleep and chill. But I met one or two really awesome people through him. I gotta be grateful for that. Hmm...pregnancy scare. Got on birth control. Thus begins Season Of Weird. I worked the New Student Conferences this month, too, and hit a fun July 4th party. But what's most important is that The Dark Knight hit theatres this month. OHHHHH YEAHHH!

August--I didn't do much this month. I was supposed to go back to Florida to hang out with Mr. Awesome, but I thought cultivating my relationship was more important. Stupid move. Waste of money. Sooo, my birthday. I went back 'home' for the first time since April or something and threw an impromptu party with some people. Ate food. Went to the mall. Nothing fancy. Then my real birthday rolled around and I did nothing. First birthday alone. Didn't even get a card. LAME. I started getting sick around my birthday. It sucked. Oh yeah, and boyfriend broke up with me right after classes started. Fun.

September--The month of failure. Tried to do the school thing, but started getting sick. Took my second trip to the clinic. Went to a couple parties. My car decided to stop working this month. Well, it started to have serious problems. It never really worked well and was always acting up. Hit the State Fair with a friend. Ate turkey legs, walked around, saw stupid/weird stuff. Then we headed a few miles out and got tattoos. My first. Started seeing a counselor after two of my best friends told me I sounded/acted/seemed depressed.

October--Sick as a dog. Migraines, headaches, stomach problems, allergies, sinus shit. EVERYTHING. At the same time. Realized who my real friends were. Had to withdraw from school. Lost a scholarship because of that. Damn. Spent out the wazoo for all the medical crap I did. Halloween party. Fun. Got diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.

November--Spent almost every minute of every day in bed. Sick, sick, sick, ill. Went to a dodgeball tournament. Hallucinated a lot. Got on more medication. Tried to kill myself. Was forced to spend a couple weeks at 'home'. I don't want to talk about Thanksgiving. But I met my spiritual partner. That's good, right? Right.

December--Best month ever. Not really, but that doesn't matter. Came back to my real home, my apartment. I took my first trip to Houston (check previous blog) and made some new, really cool friends. Well, not really new, but yeah, new. This month, I pretended to enjoy the Christmas season. I'm good at pretending. I hit a couple more parties. I sprained my ankle like an idiot. It still hasn't healed, three weeks later. Because of that, I had to take another lovely trip to the clinic and spend more money. But it's ok because it's not broken. My car died for good. I need to start looking for another one.


So that was my year.